How to build a guitar in times of financial crisis and economic upheaval

Ok, the new budget is about to come in which is going to result in things going in reverse for a while, but you only have 2 more months to defeat procrastination and learn how to guitar.
If you do not already own a guitar, you could not have come to a better place.

How to build a guitar in times of financial crisis and economic upheaval

Ok. you're going to need materials firstly and a lot of patience to do this right. some parts involve a lot of trial and error, but bear with me and I will explain my way through all of them.
What you will need:

• A slab of wood, approx 16 inches long, 4 inches wide and about 2 inches deep. but anything close to that size will do.
  I only ever just used part of a disused pallet, just selected a good dry part and sanded it well down as to eliminate any loose splinters.
• 3 nails.
  If asked how long do you want them? insist you would prefer to keep them.
• An empty glass bottle.
  something roughly the size of a Cavan cola bottle you used to be able to get in pubs and such. a beer bottle would suffice just provided it's the correct size.
• A single coil pickup.
  The pickup you use shouldn't have to be perfect. The more imperfections the better really. (see example on the right)
  A Dr.Parts single coil pickup is best since they're cheap and pretty easy to come by.
• A 1/4" jack input.
• A small sweet tin.
  The kind your gran keeps her spare pins or cardigan buttons in.
• An old guitar/bass string.
• A plectrum
• A glass slide

Right so, once you've got all that, it's time to start putting the raw materials together.

1. Make sure the main body of wood is sufficiently sanded and smoothed down so it can be handled and played with ease.
2. Mark out rough layouts for the individual points on the wood with a pencil. Two nail points must support the string either end of the body, just not too close to the edge and another one must hold the glass bottle in place. also, decide which end is the head and which is the toe.
3. Taking the string, place the looped end on the first nail, place it over the pencil mark on the head end and hammer it in. Not too far that the nail is the whole way in, but instead just put it in far enough so that it doesn't move.
4. Hammer the Bottle support nail in place, so that it is level with the first nail.
5. Put the bottle in place and wrap the string around the final nail. Just hold it in place for now, decide how much string length you need to that the bottle keeps it in a state of tension.
6. Take the bottle away and hammer the final nail in place so that it is half the height of the first two.
7. Wrap the string around it and using the hammer, bend the nail around so it keeps the string in place and it cannot slip out.
8. you now have the main unit of your guitar. Now what you want to do is turn it into an electric guitar and allow the grunge to happen.
9. Screw the pickup in place, towards the middle part of the length of string, swiveled towards the bottle.
   (I had to place a small piece of scrap wood beneath mine to raise it a bit as the signal was a bit weak)
10. Drill a small 8mm hole in one end of the sweet tin and a smaller sized hole on the other.
11. Feed the pickup cable through the smaller hole and place the input jack in the 8mm hole. The jack is threaded in order for a nut and washer to be screwed on.
12. Solder the pickup cables to the input jack. The signal wire going to the outside notch and the ground wire going to the ground notch.
13. For handiness, you can duct tape the sweet tin to the wooden body.
14. Grab that slide and plectrum, plug in to a heavily distorted amp.
15. Rock.
16. Roll.

Congratulations. you are now the proud owner of a garage manufactured guitar. Feel free to sticker bomb, graffiti or modify and personalize it in any way you like. The more original it is, the better.

Which end do I smoke from?

in all, this should cost no more than €6

Your very own Gibson Les Paul